The yogic delusion

Now that I am back in India, I have decided to explore my Indian roots. Naturally, learning yoga becomes a part of it. Since I don’t keep new year resolutions anymore, a few weeks ago I signed up for a yoga class (Yogasana to be precise). First day of class they taught us various breathing exercises and I could do most of them. My success went to my head. I thought to myself, this is so damn easy, I should have started doing this long time ago. I also started growing a beard assuming that wearing a saffron robe is just a couple of weeks away.

However, the second class came and to begin with, we were asked to sit in a particular position to start the rest of the asanas. To my horror everyone in my class could do it in a jiffy. As for me, I couldn’t even start. I mean, I tried, but all the fat refused to budge, and I couldn’t even begin. The nice instructor told me to not worry and once I start practicing it everyday I would be able to do it effortlessly. The rest of the class was even worst. I spent the entire 2 hours looking at other people perform while I sat there twiddling my thumbs just trying.. most of the times I was far from even pretending to be trying.

I still can’t believe that someone can actually do something like that. I mean, how can this body part go and touch that body part? Or for that matter, how am I supposed to touch my forehead to my knee? For that to happen my stomach cavity should be empty and I should have like half a dozen ribs less. Any amount of practicing everyday is not gonna make it possible. Its like saying, “If you practice turning your head everyday, very soon you will be able to turn your head to your back!”

Now I am more or less convinced – I am either an alien, or just like the extra tooth, I have some extra bones in my body, that do not give me the flexibility that other human beings are naturally born with. Mind it, I am no longer blaming my fat.