Agreement

After years of fighting in vain to get rid of my bulge (tummy for you uninitiated!), yesterday night we ( I mean my stomach and me) signed a strategic agreement. Its a 54 page document on which both of our lawyers agreed upon. Here is a gist of the deal:

1. I shall not do any more ab exercises. These exercises prove harmful to the growth of Mr. T (for tummy!).
2. I shall not restrict food intake. It directly affects the well being of Mr. T. By the power vested in Mr. T by the constitution, it is illegal on my part to do so.
3. Mr. T has agreed to deposit all the fat that I shall consume. This way, if I get stranded in the Sahara desert someday, Mr. T will take care of my well being, till help arrives.
   
4. Mr. T shall cushion my fall, if I trip or lose balance. Mr. T will that way protect my face and keep me away from harm, risking its own life.

This strategic agreement will also help me in a lot more ways than you can imagine. First of all, I will be able to concentrate on other things in life than appearance. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if some gal is gonna like me, she ain't gonna see if I walk alone or I am always accompanied by Mr.T. Imagine, if I save those 2 minutes that I spend looking at myself in the mirror everyday, at the end of the year I will have saved 12 hours!! I could probably end poverty in the world in that time!

Finally, whenever I have kids, they shall get to have a front seat view of the action. Let me explain. All the thin guy carry their kids in their arms. So when the dad is walking ahead, the kid is actually looking at a stranger following his/her dad and making strange faces (and for all you know, that guy actually thinks that he is entertaining the kid! Oh! How boring!). My kids will sit on Mr. T. So they will have front row action! They will see what I will see, how exciting!!

That reminds me of a joke that I had read somewhere..

Why can't fat men play golf?
Because if they keep the ball too close, they can't see it and if they keep it too far, they can't reach it :) !!

I am gonna end this post right now. I guess something someone said yesterday, hurt me a lot :) !!