Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Names

This is the second week of my tryst with common cold and I thought I look it up on the net. And according to Wikipedia common cold is Acute viral nasopharyngitis. Wow! And for a moment I thought only South Indians had long names! That's a long name for a virus to carry around, considering that the moment I sneeze, I banish millions of them from their nasal-abode! Imagine the inconvenience of carrying your long nameplate along with the rest of your belongings when you are only 1 cell wide! I bet I can fit a billion of them in the space that their name occupied in this blog :) !! Before I start talking yucky about mucus and the rest, let me get back to the original topic "Names".

I was born with a long last name. I have never liked my last name (see its conspicuous absence in the "About Me" section of my blog :) !!). It is long and complicated and has 'U's and 'Z's to complicate its pronunciation further! The friendly lady at the Safeway counter always reads my receipt and mutters "Have a nice day! Mr Moo-zooo-mu-daarrr?" and then she has that pitiable look on her face saying "I am sorry Mr, but my boss says that I have to wish everyone with their last names!, not that I am interested in wishing you!"

When I was a teenager and had to come up with a signature (remember the good old days when you practiced and perfected your signature by scribbling it anywhere you could?) I had a tough time getting my last name inside my signature. I thought I would grow up to be a celebrity. How embarrassing it would be to stand and sign for 15 minutes for 1 fan, when you can see hundred thousand other fans yelling your name ("Moo-zooom-mu-daarrr! Moo-zooom-mu-daarrr!") That reminds me, if I write my entire name I need to refill my ink pen before I can sign again :) !!

After a lot of deliberation and studying the aesthetics of my signature, I decided that I shall get rid of the 'z' and the 'u', so all I was left with was lots of 'm'. This I decided was the best way to scribble my autograph on my fans hands, books and places where only I imagined ;) !! But as God would have it, He got angry with me for playing with my family heritage, and here I am, a lowly Software Engineer writing blogs for you unsuspecting souls!

If only I had not messed around with my last name, by His grace, you would have been standing in a long queue somewhere to get to see me! And the entire police department of that county would be out to keep the crowd in control :P !!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Obituary

Today the 10th of October 2006 my dear Coffee Mug of 1.5 years left for its heavenly abode at 6:30 AM in the morning. It is survived by 4 of its other mates. The last rites were given by sweeping the floor and then throwing away the rest of the stuff in the dustbin! May his/her (never thought about a Coffee Mug's sex!) soul rest in pieces.

I am very sad today, and I thought I pay homage to this brave cup (which survived through chai and coffee with me for soo long!) by writing a blog about it. I stood for 2 minutes in silence for the Mug, and I got late to office (can you come up with a more amazing excuse than this?)!

Saturday and Sunday mornings would never be the same again for me! Me and my faithful Mug have spent many a weekend mornings reading newspapers, talking on the phone, and last but not the least, me dipping the delicious piece of toast in the hot chai that the Mug so fondly held.

As Toni Braxton would like to put it..

Un-break my Mug, say you'll love me again...
Un-cry these tears, I cried so many nights!

Monday, October 9, 2006

You are the reason nothing gets done!

Another week goes, and I don't get my stuff done! I am so damn busy (or think I am!) that I do not get 15 minutes to update my blog! I have this to-do list which just keeps on extending, I have so many unread emails that I need to respond to, billion other small things that I need to do and I realize I am in no control of my life.

And then I come across this small video on YouTube and I get enlightened! I am the reason I did not get my stuff done :(! Yes get in control before you are too late!

Well here is the video:

Monday, October 2, 2006

Cleaning up my closet

Its a sleepy Sunday evening after a hard day at "partying" and I am playing catch-up on my blog writing business. Its been almost a week since I last wrote and like each one of you, even my time flies in a jiffy...

I was thinking to myself, what is that one thing most important that I did today, and for a change, I actually did something which terribly inconvenienced a few billion happily leaving organisms and their families. Before you get all the wrong ideas, ahem, let me explain!

For those of you who do not know, I live in a "bachelor" accommodation. Its a place which unmarried guys call their "home", but its more like a breeding ground for new kinds of mutated organisms. You have got all kinds of things lying around, and there are more kinds of things hidden beneath those things. Everything in the house looks brown, because there is this layer of dust that gives it that color!

Well, I am a bit of a cleanliness freak, and this bachelor business (with all due respect to my amazingly sweet and nice roommates!) does get over my nerves at times. I try to do my part by getting up insanely early (read 7:30 AM) on a Saturday morning (its insane cause you have slept only at 3:30 AM ..) and try to salvage our apartment. But then I can go only 1 room at a time, cause I need to excavate through layers of dirt (pun intended) to get down to the bottom and figure out what treasures are actually hidden!!

All said and done, today I finally reached the most amazing inventions of all times .. the Fridge. The problem with having a Fridge at home is you tend to stock up on things and try to save them for a rainy day. But then it happens that one fine day you happen to open the fridge and find out that the chicken that your grandma had cooked when she had gone to the hospital to see the new born you, is still there. The chicken is now happily sleeping under a comforter of green yucky things .. I wont be shocked to see it move... (I understand that it was an obvious exaggeration, but I did find some things in my Fridge that had crossed 6 months after their "best if consumed by" dates!).

The most amazing things that I found today were 6 half cut onions, a garlic which had grown a three feet sapling outta it, and 3 unidentified containers which contained something which was completely covered in green and white. I didn't have the guts to go beneath the surface and see what was lurking inside. But I am sure, all the new species of animals are born this way.

I hope that you guys, by now, have figured out that I have a penchant for exaggeration, and whatever I have written above is not true. But, before I end, I would like you all to come for dinner to my place tomorrow (I don't like to throw away food, you see ;) !!!)