Magic Potion

I don't exactly qualify as a metrosexual male. My usual appearance sways between a caveman and a formally dressed gorilla based on the day of the week. The only grooming that I do is – I bathe (Thank God for it!). So when a friend of mine suggested that I start using a face-wash to counteract the ill effects of my age I went to do a research on the kinds of “washes” that you get off the counter. Not only is there a face-wash, but also there is a body-wash and a mouthwash. The fun part is trying to wash your face with a mouth-wash doesn’t exactly produce the desired effects.

Anyway, I went to a mall today to look for face-washes. And I realized that almost every men’s face-wash is a fairness cream as well. I mean every product of the shelf not only talks about how it clears your pores, makes you look younger, and refreshes your skin, but also it makes you look fairer! Naturally I decided to check out what the fairness creams do different!

The face-washes only claimed to make me fair, young, rich and intelligent, but the fairness creams did all that the face-washes did but also promised to make me handsome (that’s a tall order!). In the last 10 years that I have been seriously courting computers, science has made tremendous progress in fairness creams. Imagine applying the cream one night, and getting up the next morning as a fair and handsome knight in shining armour all with a shiny white horse waiting for you to board on. Then you go riding on it in Mumbai traffic (well, that would make for a different blog post altogether!).

Fair and Handsome

Anyway, like the gullible consumer I am, I have decided – what the heck – I might as well try to be a handsome caveman/ gorilla. So, I bought myself the “Make-me-handsome potion” (calling it a cream is just downplaying its miraculous powers!) and have decided to apply it everyday for the next 4 weeks (that's how long I have to apply the cream to become handsome!). So, for all of you who have never seen me, just wait for 4 more weeks, I will be a handsome young man (I pity my parents – I always blamed them for my mirror-cracking looks. How I wish I had known about this potion before!). Tomorrow, I go buy my knight armour and a horse. I might need a month to learn horse-riding.