Names

This is the second week of my tryst with common cold and I thought I look it up on the net. And according to Wikipedia common cold is Acute viral nasopharyngitis. Wow! And for a moment I thought only South Indians had long names! That's a long name for a virus to carry around, considering that the moment I sneeze, I banish millions of them from their nasal-abode! Imagine the inconvenience of carrying your long nameplate along with the rest of your belongings when you are only 1 cell wide! I bet I can fit a billion of them in the space that their name occupied in this blog :) !! Before I start talking yucky about mucus and the rest, let me get back to the original topic "Names".

I was born with a long last name. I have never liked my last name (see its conspicuous absence in the "About Me" section of my blog :) !!). It is long and complicated and has 'U's and 'Z's to complicate its pronunciation further! The friendly lady at the Safeway counter always reads my receipt and mutters "Have a nice day! Mr Moo-zooo-mu-daarrr?" and then she has that pitiable look on her face saying "I am sorry Mr, but my boss says that I have to wish everyone with their last names!, not that I am interested in wishing you!"

When I was a teenager and had to come up with a signature (remember the good old days when you practiced and perfected your signature by scribbling it anywhere you could?) I had a tough time getting my last name inside my signature. I thought I would grow up to be a celebrity. How embarrassing it would be to stand and sign for 15 minutes for 1 fan, when you can see hundred thousand other fans yelling your name ("Moo-zooom-mu-daarrr! Moo-zooom-mu-daarrr!") That reminds me, if I write my entire name I need to refill my ink pen before I can sign again :) !!

After a lot of deliberation and studying the aesthetics of my signature, I decided that I shall get rid of the 'z' and the 'u', so all I was left with was lots of 'm'. This I decided was the best way to scribble my autograph on my fans hands, books and places where only I imagined ;) !! But as God would have it, He got angry with me for playing with my family heritage, and here I am, a lowly Software Engineer writing blogs for you unsuspecting souls!

If only I had not messed around with my last name, by His grace, you would have been standing in a long queue somewhere to get to see me! And the entire police department of that county would be out to keep the crowd in control :P !!