My knowledge of human psychology is almost zilch. I never can understand other people's behavior nor can I judge people correctly. However lately, I have come to recognize a certain pattern within some individuals I know. It is - "Attention Seeking". And I understand that the only way I can curtail it is by "Tactical Ignoring".
Without getting into too much details - I had this one "friend" on Facebook who always writes extremely controversial status messages to garner attention and have virtual wars with his followers. A few years ago he began by writing misogynistic messages (while he was single). Every post was so politically incorrect and so anti-feminist that he would definitely spark a controversy. Astonishingly within a few years he got married. That's the time I realized that he was just trying to garner attention and stay in the Facebook limelight.
Lately he has shifted to bashing the ruling populist Government in India. While, those are harmless Facebook posts, reading them definitely affects me. So I decided to start ignoring him. And finally, I un-friended him off Facebook.
What may seem as "exercising free speech", is many times just attention seeking. Especially when the free speech comes from keyboard warriors. In the world of constant social media that we live in, I find a lot of attention seekers! So next time when you plan to engage with someone on social media for their snide remarks, just practice tactical ignoring!
Without getting into too much details - I had this one "friend" on Facebook who always writes extremely controversial status messages to garner attention and have virtual wars with his followers. A few years ago he began by writing misogynistic messages (while he was single). Every post was so politically incorrect and so anti-feminist that he would definitely spark a controversy. Astonishingly within a few years he got married. That's the time I realized that he was just trying to garner attention and stay in the Facebook limelight.
Lately he has shifted to bashing the ruling populist Government in India. While, those are harmless Facebook posts, reading them definitely affects me. So I decided to start ignoring him. And finally, I un-friended him off Facebook.
What may seem as "exercising free speech", is many times just attention seeking. Especially when the free speech comes from keyboard warriors. In the world of constant social media that we live in, I find a lot of attention seekers! So next time when you plan to engage with someone on social media for their snide remarks, just practice tactical ignoring!
Tactical ignoring is planned ignoring which is intervention strategy. Intervention meaning in a positive way to promote some learning in the individual who you are ignoring...(like parents use for kids, teachers use for students etc)
ReplyDeleteso in your example, it was simply recognizing the attention seeking and since you could not tolerate giving him attention, you disconnected completely from him by unfriending him.
in other words - Recognize or be aware of attention seekers and take the call that suits you...but i don't think it is called Tactical Ignoring.
I actually googled it up since i could not see what was tactical in your scenario and then found it to be quite different.
Well, that's when you want to teach your kids. But I believe that "Tactical Ignoring" is a general psychology thing. If you don't use it in the context of working with kids, it is sort of relevant to what I said.
DeleteAnyway, I ain't a psychologist, so I may be wrong.
By the way, GMUZ, this is amazing.. you have kept your blogging alive for all these years... very impressive.. I visited after a long time today.
ReplyDeleteThanks Krupa. Yup, I have been blogging too long now. It ain't cool anymore :)
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